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Thursday, September 20, 2012

Occupy McCarren Park




In honor of the one year anniversary of Occupy Wall Street I decided to post my play "Occupy McCarren Park" which I wrote last year in reaction to the movement.  The play was produced as part of STICKY at Bowery Poetry Club on October 15th 2011.  It was directed by Ali Ayala and featured Jimmy Pravasilus, Ali Ayala and my good self.  I reserve all rights to blah blah blah...please enjoy.

OCCUPY MCCARREN PARK

At McCarren Park David adresses the crowd.

DAVID
People of Williamsburg, though we are in Brooklyn we can see the storm clouds across the East River, the tiny minority of people who are trying to control our way of life, to steal our future.  Today we stand in solidarity with a system of economics that has made Williamsburg the envy of every hipster community in the world.  Today we stand up for capitalism.  Today we tell Occupy Wall Street, that as the Dude said, this aggression will not stand.

They say they want to change the world, we say, we like the world, it's fun.  If they have their way, there may never be an IPhone 5, just more confusing software updates for our IPhone 4S’s, which every day will seem, thicker, bigger, uglier.  If they have their way, our trust funds will be taxed and taxed and taxed, until we have to move to Bushwick.  If they have their way, the money will be removed from politics, let me tell you a little something about the money in politics, that money means TV ads, Web ads, mailers and posters, and that's jobs for cinematographers, best boys, key grips, graphic designers, sound like anyone you know?  Mikey's Hook Up calls Presidential elections golden hour!

We are not part of the 99%. We don't want to be a part of anything that is 99% of anything.

As hipsters we know that once more than 12 people know about something it starts to suck.  This is an incontravertible law of nature.

This is our moment, this is our time, this is Occupy McCarren Park!

Jimmy enters, DAVID hands him a PBR and opens one for himself.

JIMMY
Ok, I set up all the tents, we got 150.

DAVID
Great, at least it's a start, soon there will be tents as far as the eye can see.

JIMMY
Right, but, um, there's no one here

DAVID
What are you talking about, look at all these people.

JIMMY
I don't think they’re here for this

DAVID
Of course they are, they're all wearing red T shirts

JIMMY
Pretty sure they’re a kickball team, see how all the shirts say "Turkey Nest Ball Kickers"?

DAVID
Oh, I thought that was some kind of metaphor I didn’t get, but that's ok
(Out to the kickball team)
Everyone is invited to the revolution!

JIMMY
I thought we weren’t using the term revolution, that we are the great defenders of the solid and stable status quo.

DAVID
Well, yes, that’s right.  Of course, it's just, it's hard to get people hyped up about the solid and stable status quo, to explain that not having a revolution is the true revolution.

JIMMY
Maybe we need some chants, I mean Occupy Wall Street has some good chants, "whose streets our streets". "this is what democracy looks like, THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE”" it's hard to chant "we like things the way they are, though some minor regulatory adjustments might be helpful"

DAVID
No it isn't "We like things the way they are though some minor regulatory adj... Ok, yeah that sucks.  Maybe we can borrow theirs, like, "whose streets?  Everyone's street that are shared and maintained through sound tax policy"

JIMMY
It's a little better.

DAVID
Well, the problems, or lack thereof that we face today can't be summed up by simple slogans, the complexity of the national, let alone the global economy defies that kind of baseline analysis.

JIMMY
Yeah, but you have to admit, folks are working two or three jobs just to survive, it's kind of brutal.

DAVID
This is Williamsburg, we come here to work two or three jobs, we come here to freelance and risk not having health insurance, we come here to avoid working 40 hours a week for a benevolent boss or government, to forge new paths of creative living.

JIMMY
It's also close to the L train

DAVID
True, the L is a very convenient train.  When it's running.

JIMMY
Where’s Trisha?

DAVID
I don't wanna talk about it

JIMMY
That bad huh?

DAVID
Trisha, well, is having some doubts about our movement, she's um, exploring other options

JIMMY
You don't mean...

DAVID
Yeah

JIMMY
She's down there?

DAVID
I'm not worried, she'll see that they have no answers, that they lack all sense of intellectual rigor, also she really hates the smell of Puteoli.

JIMMY
I'm with her on that, that's why I broke up with Gina, I really just couldn't take it anymore

So, like when do you think people are going to start showing up?  It's already been a few days

DAVID
You mean it's it's only been a few days, as Morrissey said, these things take time.  OWS has all the flash, but it can't last, I mean come on, nobody really believes that the New York Times and the NYPD are involved in some conspiracy to crush dissent.

JIMMY
Well...

DAVID
It's not Malice, it's incompetence, see that's what we understand, as Williamsburg hipsters we know the powerful elite, we went to school with them, did shots with them, had sex with them, and we know, they just aren't that smart, I mean they are very bright people, but no more capable of running a vast multinational conspiracy than we are.

JIMMY
I don't know if it's really a question of them being geniuses, I mean, ever since we went off the gold standard, money and power just aren't tied to anything real anymore, we are all dependent upon a system that is nothing but a bunch of promises

DAVID
What the fuck are you talking about?

JIMMY
I'm saying, if our entire way of life is tied to these guys

DAVID
And girls

JIMMY
Yes right of course, tied to these girls and guys promises, then they kind of have us over the barrel don't you think?

DAVID
Um...ok maybe, but that's not why we are here, nobody is arguing that the system should stay exactly the way it is, we are arguing that we can't just tear things down without a blueprint for the future, now maybe that blueprint includes moving back towards some kind of metallic standard

JIMMY
Damn right!

DAVID
But maybe not, the point is...

JIMMY
(Out to the Kickball team)
Follow The Yellow Brick Road!!!!

DAVID
...the point is, that we do it in a responsible way that does not deny us the products and convenience that the corporate structure provides for.

JIMMY
Oh shit

DAVID
What?

enter Trisha

TRISHA
So, you got your tents all set up, huh?

DAVID
Well, yes actually, no thanks to you.  How was hippiepalooza?

TRISHA
It was great, it was just great.

DAVID
Oh good, did you all, uh, work out the problems of the world with your horizontal direct democracy bullshit general assembly?

TRISHA
No not all of them, but the food stack was able to pass a resolution establishing strict guidelines for for what is and is not vegan.

DAVID
Thank G-d.

JIMMY
That always confused me, I mean what is it, like, no eggs or milk?

TRISHA
Actually it's a little more complicated than that...

DAVID
What are you doing here?

TRISHA,
Oh, I came to bring this back

Trisha hands David a small brown paper bag.  He takes it, looks inside.

DAVID
What the fuck, that's my drugs, like all of them, what were you doing with this?

TRISHA
I was pissed at you so I took it to bring down to the occupation.

DAVID
Then you realized what a dick move that was?

TRISHA
No, they didn't want them, it's like some kind of weird, drug free zone, except for the drum circle anyway, they said they didn't want anything the that could compromise the movement.

JIMMY
I'm surprised they didn't think you were a cop

TRISHA
Oh my god, you know I think they might have thought that.

DAVID
See, do you see now, for the love of Christ, if there is anything that says Williamsburg more than Apple products, trucker hats and feminine bags for men, it's drugs.  A drug free radical movement? I hate these fuckin people.

TRISHA
Well you can, if you want to, I'm going back, I'm participating in the Occupation Poetry Slam jam tonight at 7, right after Ron Paul addresses the general assembly.

JIMMY
Wait, what did you say?

TRISHA
I'm participating in the Occupation Poetry Slam jam tonight at 7, right after Ron Paul addresses the general assembly.

DAVID
Don't get any fucking ideas Jimmy.

JIMMY
But it's Ron Paul, I mean what’s the harm in going down there?  Just a little bit.

DAVID
The harm is that it builds their crowd, not to mention I need you here.

JIMMY
For what?

DAVID
So you're both just gonna abandon me, fine, great, you know, I don't even know why you are mad at me Trish.

TRISHA
Because you didn't invite me to your occupation?

DAVID
What are you talking about, I made a Facebook event, I tweeted it, I even put analog posters all over the burg

JIMMY
Well, actually I was the one who...

DAVID
We all have our role to play Jim.

TRISHA
None of that is an invitation, an invitation is a phone call where you say, hey Trisha, you wanna come to my occupation of McCarren Park.

DAVID
Well I'm sorry, I was a little busy

TRISHA
With what?  Making this idiot set up a hundred tents for no one?

JIMMY
Hundred and fifty, hey wait, did you just call me...Did she just call me...Oh I see, well this idiot is gonna go get a free Ron Paul bumper sticker.

Jimmy storms off

DAVID
Jimmy, wait...

TRISHA
THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE

Trisha Storms off, leaving David alone, he addresses the kickball team

DAVID
People of Williamsburg, hear me, hear my words...

Lights

End